Dating is already a struggle. Dating with someone whom is not physically present can be hard.
Relationships are work, but that should not stop you from dating the person you love, just because is not in the same city.
Dr. Carlen Costa is one defender of that statement.
The relationship psychotherapist and sexologist said, “You need to be able to be creative, be spontaneous. You need to be able to want to make it work.” She added, “You want to be able to be with that person, put the all that commitment in, use the technology, do all that planning, but what really comes down is that you are able to love one another.”
Distance is easier to beat thanks to technology. Costa said, “It is a wonderful thing to stay in contact with your loved one.” She continued, “It has changed the way relationships in general work, because people are able to live on opposite sides of the country and still maintain a healthy, moving forward relationship.”
Long distance is not the end of physical attraction
Costa mentioned that long distance is not zero intimacy. She mentioned Skype, sexting, and sexy pictures as important tools to keep the intimate bond alive.
Although, distance always takes a toll on loyalty to the partner.
Costa mentioned that a good number of long distance relationships are not monogamous, “But that doesn’t mean that couples can’t have an established, monogamous, long distance relationship. It is just about commitment, and if they want to be loyal to that person.”
Costa highlighted three main things to keep a long distance relationship alive:
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Commitment: make the effort to commit to your partner, and to work with what you have.
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Technology: find ways to stay connected, and do not treat technology as a barrier.
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Passion: you need to love your partner, be passionate, and know each other.
Where conventional and long distance relationships agree
Dr. Costa pointed out that these two types of dating have more in common than what we think.
She said, “Long distance relationships should not be harder or easier than conventional dating.”
She also said, at the moment of call it quits, is the same for every relationship.
“If you are no longer happy. If you are not longer finding pleasure. If you feel like you are catering to all of the needs for a person, but none of yours are being met, then what’s the point?” said Costa.
40 per cent of all long distance relationships end.
