Now that there are laws in place that recognize a relationship without the need for a marriage certificate, many couples are choosing to not get married.
Nancy VanderSchaaf, Psychotherapist, explains that marriage makes a relationship real, “It’s the acceptance of the community, whether it’s a religious community or for a regular community. To be a Mr. and Mrs somehow is more significant, more stable.”
About a quarter of VanderSchaaf’s patients are in relationships without marriage. This is something that has changed over the years.
VanderSchaaf shares that there are two kinds of marriages: traditional vs. modern. She says, “Traditional marriage is where the husband goes out to work and the wife stays home and takes care of the kids and the house.”
What is more common in modern society is couples who face each other instead of standing beside each other.
VanderSchaaf describes what a modern marriage entails, “The expectation for emotional connection is much higher. Everybody takes care of the work. It’s more of a partnership in a modern marriage, and that’s where I find a lot of couples have troubles.”
Marriage is a big decision, one that VanderSchaaf says couples should really think about, “Why is it important to them? What’s the purpose? It can’t just be the big fancy wedding. So much of the focus is on the big day, and that’s not right.”
Is marriage a dying institution?
VanderSchaaf says, “No, I don’t think it is. There will be people that will always revert back to it.”