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As we all try to hold on to our days of life prior to the pandemic, many couples have found it difficult to hold onto each other.
The impact Covid-19 has had in tearing apart businesses have also had an effect on tearing apart couples who have since been unable to support each other financially, as well as mentally in these high times of stress and uncertainty.
Rebecca Coyne is a family lawyer at Coyne Law with a focus on custody and access disputes in the London and surrounding area. “I think that any circumstance that puts tremendous pressure on aspects of life, causes stress on any kind of relationship. It causes stress on parent relationships, causes stress on sibling relationships, and it certainly causes stress on romantic relationships and marital relationships.”
Many relationships of those living together during the pandemic have potentially seen a pattern of greater fighting and disagreements.
“If there are already cracks in those relationships, you’re likely to see some breakage. You’re likely to see those kinds of issues sort of becomes louder, the fighting becomes more dramatic, more frequent, and then people who were in relationships that were already breaking down have been ushered more quickly to the breaking point, and to the ending point as a result of the stress that we’re all living under.”
Relationships that deal well with stress and are able to withstand financial pressure, sleepless nights, job losses, and a variety of other difficulties that can affect a relationship are more likely to survive, advises Coyne. Whereas relationships that are not well scaffolded tend to fall apart quicker and more emphatically in situations of immense stress.
Source: Statista
Statista has released that 2.71 million couples in Canada have filed for divorce in 2020.
For new couples who have decided to move in with each other before or during the pandemic, Coyne highlights it could be a wonderful learning experience to sift away from behaviours that only bring couples together at the beginning of a relationship.
“As a parent and a person who has been married for 21 years, I think life is full of unpredictable challenges. If new couples can use this as an experience as a learning way to sort of sift away those kinds of things that bring couples together in the beginning, which are very often superfluous things, very superficial things, and see that they really have this tight bond and they can face the world together, then I do think that it would set them up quite well to deal with future challenges.”
Although nobody could prepare how to handle a relationship during a pandemic before 2020, couples who have been able to maintain care and wellness for each other can pat themselves on the back. Couples who have broken up during the pandemic will most likely not fault the pandemic itself for the end of their relationship, but instead, come to the realization that it was a long time coming while the pandemic had pushed ahead reasons to end the relationship, reflects Coyne.
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As for advice to those relationships currently living together during the pandemic, Coyne wants couples to be aware that living in a relationship that is highly conflictual is damaging to your heart, soul, and psyche. However, that can go a thousand times more for children.
For couples that are straining under the weight of the pandemic, Coyne provides optimism that couples are not doomed if they are feeling pressured with the state of the world right now.
“If you were headed to a break up anyways and the pandemic is just making that feel inevitable, I don’t think that’s necessarily true. I think that there are problems, and that problems can be fixed, and that people should seek out help early and often. They should look for solutions rather than point fingers and particularly if they have children. Parents have an obligation to find solutions for their family and that those solutions also exist but that problems are not a hundred percent your fault or a hundred percent your partner’s fault, but together the two of you can find solutions that will get your family through this and you could wind up stronger for it, absolutely.”
Couples can utilize the pandemic by taking measures to prioritize their relationship and become closer with each other. While working on their problems, couples should feel comfortable knowing that reaching out for professional help is healthy and normal.
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