Struggling to make it out of bed? Feeling not enough?
In a world where self-worth is often measured by likes, looks and success, loving yourself can feel like an act of rebellion. Yet psychologists say it’s one of the most powerful things you can do for your mental health.
In other words, psychology shows self-love isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build, one act of kindness toward yourself at a time.
That belief is at the heart of motivational speaker and life coach Jeff A.D. Martin’s mission — one that has not only inspired thousands but, in some cases, saved lives.
Martin, who travels across Canada and the United States mentoring young people, believes pain can be the beginning of transformation.
“We have to learn to crawl through our difficulties in order for us to stand in our greatness,” he said in an interview for Almost 107 self love podcast. “Nobody wants to hurt or struggle, but it’s on the other side of that pain that you become better.”
Jeff Ad Martin Motivational Speaker, Life Coach and Author of Brothers from the 6
After losing his cousin Omar to violence, Martin turned grief into purpose. He began visiting schools, speaking to youth about self-worth, kindness, and the power of choice.
“That tragedy propelled me into who I am today,” he said. “I didn’t want anyone else to feel that kind of pain. It made me realize the power of helping others.”
Hard times are necessary, it’s how you grow into the person you are today.
For Martin, self-love isn’t vanity, it’s survival. It’s learning to value yourself despite a world that often tells you you’re not enough.
“We live in a society that doesn’t always teach us to love who we are,” he said. “But it starts with seeing your own worth, regardless of what the world says.”
That truth is something Amar Hisso, a recent high school graduate is still learning.
Growing up, she says her biggest struggle was constantly comparing herself to others.
“I always tried to fit in,” Amar said in an interview for the Almost 107 self-love podcast. “In high school, I’d force myself into friend groups just so people would know me. But deep down, I knew I didn’t belong and that made me feel small.”
The pressure to fit in led to years of insecurity and self-doubt.
“I’d sit in class and wonder why people weren’t talking to me,” she said. “I’d think, maybe I’m not strong enough, maybe I don’t fit in. That kind of thinking really hurt my confidence.”
Now, Amar is working toward rebuilding her confidence and practicing real self-love one step at a time.
“I don’t force myself into groups anymore,” she said. “Even if I’m alone, I remind myself that I’ve got me. I’m still learning, still healing.”
Credit: Melissa Ghanoum
Martin’s message is simple but profound: self-love is not selfish; it’s essential.
“You’re unique,” he said.
“Of the eight billion people on this planet, there’s never been another you.”
Credit: Melissa Ghanoum
Martin also believes that loving yourself is the foundation for loving others.
“When we can love ourselves to that degree, regardless of how someone treats us or if they walk out of our life, we can still love ourselves,” he said. “Then the extra that we have, we give to others.”
Martin encourages people to keep going, keep learning and keep giving.
“As difficult as life can be, when we help others, our own pain starts to feel a little smaller,” he said. “Keep pushing, because you have something within you that nobody else has.”
If you or someone you know is struggling, please remember you’re not alone.
In Canada, you can call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide Crisis Helpline anytime, day or night.
If you’re from outside Canada, visit findahelpline.com for free, confidential support in your area.
